Before going public with this I confided in my family, friends, even co workers as to whether this made sense to do. And everyone, as usual, was extremely supportive.
I’ve recently begun accomplishing the impossible, which I will post about in a month or two. And when those waves I’ve been trying to catch for most of my life finally started breaking, I broke too.
I began writing this before I started this reset period to hold myself accountable. I told someone that meant a lot to me I’d be better. I believe in doing what I say I’m going to do.
As the saying goes, you never know when the last day you spend with someone will be, but it’s guaranteed there will be a last day. God puts people in your life for a reason, and only till they are gone can you truly understand their purpose.
When I started this process I realized that the traits got me to where I am will not get me any further towards where I am going - business, personal, love life - it all had to be recalibrated and reconciled.
It is Lent if you did not know, the season of renewal and redemption. I don’t believe in coincidences of timing. So here goes…
I’ve decided it is time to begin to destroy my ego my body and my mind. I am building something new. The old me is dead. I am about halfway to where I want the new me to be. I’ll post more about that by June, as well as some other major updates related to my business.
But I have done a lot of introspection on the new me, and what’s to come:
To do great things and to be great men, we need stability. Long term outcomes are my priority now, no more short-term satisfaction.
This is going to hurt to get where I see myself, and I’ve accepted that, and I’ve been enduring that.
During this period, I’ve been working on being kinder and gentler to others, talking over people less, listening more, being less impulsive, less defensive and talking to God more. I’ve also spent time training BJJ and other combat sports, I’ve found balance that I lost along the way.
I’ve finally accepted that we live in a world flooded by fake happiness and the desire for attention by mostly broken people, including myself until now. No one is perfect and no one is innocent of sin, not me, and not you.
Being on this carousel of seeking what’s better instead of building what’s best, can tear a man’s soul apart in the worst ways. And I’m sure it’s not any healthier for women. I’ve gotten off the ride. No more hedonism and promiscuity. That man doesn’t exist anymore.
A wife and more kids are my only intentions, the only relationships I’ll be involved in will start with that as an objective, not “let’s see where this goes”. I am no longer following fast, sought after women on social media, using dating apps, and I’m not contributing to the attention economy anymore.
If it’s not about family, friends, business, God or training… I genuinely have no interest anymore. If you have somebody that’s worrying about when you will get home, cherish that, because there are so many others out there will never, and it may be impossible to sift through them to find another who will, at least not with your reputation staying intact.
And before I am judged - take a few weeks off social and drown yourself in yourself. Go train 3 times a day, starve, thirst, go to church, turn down dates, turn down nights out, be alone. Repeat it every day for weeks. Go reflect. Judge me from my perspective, I dare you, because you’ll be better for it. This may sound so simple or planned, it has been chaotic and painful.
But here we are. I’ve dialed in my diet, my physique, my business, and my personal goal: Youngest billionaire in Florida by 2027.
It’s always been a pipe dream, but I now have confidence in the probability of the outcome to say it aloud. No more manifesting, it’s within reach.
This is the third or fourth time I’ve “rebuilt” myself, for a variety of reasons in the past. Many of you know I went from posting my Lambo, Bentley, watches and splurges in the 2010s to ghost from 2015-2020. I’ve sold it all and burnt it all down before to achieve greater heights. It’s come full circle. I’m arriving.
Life truly has seasons to it, and a new season has begun in mine, and I know this is the beginning of the best years ahead. I’ve been joking lately that 35 years of pain and suffering for 35 years of reflection and happiness is a fair trade with God.
I have no pity or animosity towards myself. And I’ve begun apologizing to others about some of my mistakes I’ve made along that journey.
And change doesn’t take long, you just need to accept it, keep it top of mind, and embrace it. Not tomorrow… today, even better… right now. As the saying goes, “there are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” Change doesn’t “eventually happen”, it must be started and finished. It’s hard work.
I am no longer saying “it is what it is”. What a terrible outlook. It is whatever you make it to be. And I want it to be the best.
And being a man and a father is very difficult. We’re constantly making mistakes and guarded, and no one is there to save you except yourself, and that is hard to process. Everyone will judge you, and no one is coming to your rescue.
And I’m not going to sugar coat it, it wears on me mentally to constantly shift gears from gentle loving father to tearing my body apart during training to amicable tactful strategic businessman and back and forth and in between… and somehow make time to be a good lover and partner, to constantly be “in control” and “not moody” and show no anxiety or stress.
The world expects a great deal from us to be “good men” that it rarely returns in kind. And even worse, men simply seek comfort from all the trials, and that comfort often ends in betrayal.
But, what I believe is the defining characteristic of being a “good man” is the ability to acknowledge your mistakes and character flaws… most importantly if they are brought to your attention by those you love and respect… and be able to tear yourself down, and build yourself back better than before to correct those errs. Even if those people won’t be around for the process or the outcome.
Sadly, people give up on good prospects in life, love and business too early, only to reminiscence years later on what could have been. And you will never get those shots again. But that is out of your control. Time goes by faster than we perceive. That’s why I’m all in on this right now.
My ability to rebuild has always been my superpower, my close friends and family have witnessed it. I’ve been hurt by women, I’ve ruined relationships, I’ve been told ‘no’ by a thousand investors, failed in businesses, sold too soon, bought too late. I’ve fucked up pretty much every way you can in life. I am constantly wrong. But I always reflect and do the hard work to get better.
I’ve decided this time around rebuilding myself, I’d share this journey for other men out there, you aren’t alone. This is hard stuff. I’m going to try to share more over time.
And no one has ever asked me “are you good?” for the sake of it, and I hear about this often that men are never cared for with regards to their mental wellbeing until it’s too late. And I am good, but I worry about my friends. So if you aren’t good, I’m here for you.
I’m not preaching alpha this, or beta that, in fact I am not even using those terms anymore. Rather, we should all just try to be good - even when others hurt us.
Our job as men is just try to do the right thing, and if we wrong, try to get better. Pursue perfection, ruthlessly persisting through the pain, all while knowing that that perfection will always be out of reach. And the most important person you owe it to to try: is yourself. Embrace the suck. Love the hurt. Get better.
I’ve got a lot of work to do, but I’m improving 1% every day, and the outcomes are beginning to compound in really special ways.
Here’s to me. 🖤